Woe is Roe: Balds Lane Fish Bar, Lye, West Midlands

 

This could have been so much better. The battered chips were excellent. Amongst the tastiest and most satisfying chips I’ve ever eaten. Pity about the roe.

I was in the West Midlands and thought I’d try Balds Lane chippy. I was attracted by the quirkiness of the built-in post box featured on the shop front.

Upon entering I was rather overwhelmed by all the signage. The menu board wrapped around the shop in an ‘L’ shape but there were posters and printed notes pinned to the wall and almost any other surface that could accommodate one. Guy Debord's Society of the Spectacle argues that a proliferation of signs are 'agents of blindness'. I certainly felt that way as my eyes darted left and right trying to decide what to order.

I noticed a sign for ‘fresh roe’. Knowing this is a rarity and having enjoyed it in Nuneaton many years ago I ordered it, along with battered chips and curry. It was only after ordering that I noticed yet another poster that acclaimed the shop did three types of the latter including Chinese and Irish. Oh well. The curry had already been potted and placed on the top of the hot box. Then I waited for the roe to fry.

Several workers from surrounding industrial units came in to buy lunch most of which had been pre ordered. These chaps were clearly what was keeping the business alive. That and the amazing chips!

It was time for my lunch to be dished up. I was asked if I wanted plain chips. “No, Battered please.” I reminded the absent-minded server. Then I noticed a piece of paper being readied to wrap them so said once again that I wanted them open “in a tray”.

“Salt and vinegar?” Asked three times whilst all this was going on. Each time with an affirmative answer and immediately forgotten. As the person serving wrestled to grasp the ball of roe with some tongs I joked that it was trying to get away, but no smile cracked their face.

Then I asked for a fork. Hmm.

A nearby bus shelter with seats was my dining room. What would the Chip Fiends do without bus shelters?!

The chips were perfect. Chunky, fluffy on the inside and with that lovely Black Country orange crunch on the outside. I wish I’d just ordered chips on their own.

The roe was the most inedible muck I’ve ever tried to eat. It was tasteless and very dry inside. Like a sand pie. It had to go in the bin.

The curry sauce was the msg flecky kind. Oh how I pined for some Irish curry!

I was disappointed that I’d spent over £7 on this and most of that (over £4) on the roe had been wasted.

Ratings out of 5:

Chips: 5
Roe: 0
Curry sauce: 2
Shop / service: 2
Over all: 2